Unsolicited Advice
When wisdom is handed out like receipts no one asked for
I was listening to the latest ‘Easy Money’ Podcast by Apple on Charles Ponzi. I like it when something like this is made on a person when they try to explain what is the person overall like and what must have made them the way they are now.
The basic underlying of the entire Ponzi story is defined on the dramatic quote from a banker. When the banker refuses Ponzi of a bank loan he needed to start a legit business. Ponzi tries to push it harder and the banker slams at him saying,
‘The sign of a wise man is how he handles a door slammed on his face’
It wasn’t this lesson that hurt him but the fact that the banker took an upper position of giving him this lesson that hurt him. If the banker had just left it there by saying no, it might not have offended Ponzi, but the banker wanted to teach a lesson.
Ponzi was there for a loan and not a lesson. While the banker offered the lesson and not the loan. What happened next was obviously on Ponzi and not on the banker, but it made me think a lot about how people deal with taking lessons. Its only when they want a lesson they take it, and not when they need one.
And its a also a very important principle in adult learning psychology.
What would have prompted the banker to give the lesson ? Well obviously at that moment, he was frustrated with the constant push, but also to show the position of power he thought its wise to give the man something he doesn't need, also so that it ultimately stops. For the manager, Ponzi was just a customer who he might not see ever again (at least that’s what he thought) but for Ponzi it turned out to be a turning point.
"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
— Buddha
And that is why most of the self help videos don’t land on people who don’t need them and even the shittiest ones land on the people who needed them just at that point.
How do you deal with unsolicited advice ?
Meanwhile watch this good video about burnout